Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily...

They're available for weddings and Bar Mitvahs.

2009-07-10T11:42:00.004-07:00

Nathan and John McLay performing their song "Twilight" at EFY. I think they should take it on the road.

TWILIGHT

by John McLay and Nathan Jones

[Sung to Starlight© by Muse and based loosely on Twilight© by Stephenie Meyer]

Far away

Her mind is clearly, far away

Far away from the date...

The date that you have taken her on

Twilight

Shes probably been reading Twilight

She expects you to sparkle in Light

And your skin, frankly, just aint that white

Hold her on your back

and run really fast

Hold her on your back.

Vampires

How can you compete with Vampires?

They're immortal and in movies

Besides the sight of blood makes you feel faint

You're pretty sure she pushed you in front of

That of that car to see it stop, but it didnt stop

Her hopes and expectations

Create significant complications

And by your best computations

It may not be worth the frustrations

Hold on lets get real...watching people sleep is weird!

Edward

There'll always be another Edward

Some tall guy with an accent

And a team of professional stylists

Unless your name is Wolverine you dont stand a Chance,

but thats not your name

And your bones are kind of brittle

Your hopes and expectations

Cant be tied to Hollywood creations

Forget Sister Meyers machinations

And find your own true imprintations

Hold on, you just wanted...You just wanted to Date.

I got all my sistah's with me

2009-06-08T09:25:00.002-07:00

My head is achy, my vision is blurred, and I have diabetic shock. I must have just gotten home from Girls Reunion! For those of you who don't have families as awesome as mine, we have a family reunion on all of the even numbered years and a girls-only reunion on the odd numbered years. It is a blast! We get together and discuss the deep issues of life (translation: we dissect trashy celeb mags), we eat dainty dishes (translation: we try to keep it to one fistful of M&Ms in our mouth at a time), and we create domestic works of art (translation: we curse under our breath as we try to complete the craft that seemed so cute and easy the day before). We stay up way too late, laugh way too loud, and enjoy each other way too much. I love my girls and I am so glad we make the time to do this. I don't think it is any exaggeration to say it is literally the greatest spectacle the world has ever seen. The other greatest spectacle this weekend?

Aw Hank, you give the best cuddles in the world. Literally.

Vegas, Baby, Vegas!

2009-05-22T14:30:00.004-07:00

Well folks, it was about time. We have lived in one place for one whole year now and Nathan thinks this behavior must be curbed. That is why he just got a promotion and is moving us to Las Vegas! Hey, five moves in two years - bring it on. This one, though, promises to be a more permanent situation and we are thrilled. He will be working as the Director of Enrolment and is so excited he can hardly see straight. I am looking forward to it even though I will miss Colorado Springs and the friends we have made here. So feel free to stop by if you are ever in Sin City, we'll keep the light on!

I NEED your help!

2009-05-06T10:43:00.004-07:00

Some of you will have gotten an email from me recently regarding my cousin Jolene and the fundraising project I am involved in. For those of you who did not get one, I am participating in the Great Strides walk on May 16th to raise funds for cystic fibrosis research. This is the disease Jolene fought her entire life and we want to honor her memory by doing our best to fight it. If you feel inclined to support me and donate to the cause please go to

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/BethanyJones5705

and pledge whatever you feel comfortable with. Every dollar is important so no donation is too small. Thank you so much!

Good Day Sunshine

2009-03-17T11:50:00.002-07:00

It has been awhile since I have posted, but it is not for lack of good things happening. I am just lazy. So here goes.

1. I am gainfully employed! That's right, the Joneses are bucking the economic trends and actually becoming slightly more secure. It seems that I am destined to assist financial planners as that is what I will be doing starting tomorrow morning. I will be working for a lovely man in our ward who is in dire need of someone to take care of the details (hmmm... where have I done this before?!) so I will be using my years of expertise (said with a chuckle) to help him in whatever way I can. It seems it will be a good fit for both of us so I am excited. And it only took me a year...

2. I have sold my first writing! Keep your eyes peeled, folks, for my name and story to appear in an upcoming edition of The New Era. I know it's not the Pultizer, but it kind of felt that way when I found out!

3. Nathan and I completed step one of the Total Money Makeover! I have to say that I am really proud of us. It has been a lot of work planning and budgeting, but it is a pretty amazing feeling to say to your money "I AM YOUR MASTER!" We are pretty pumped and are looking forward to financial freedom, though it is a long and winding road (another Beatles reference).

4. Nathan and I are going to Las Vegas this summer to participate in a Youth Conference! Nathan will be a speaker whereas I will be the eye candy (It's so exhausting. I mean, I'm not just a body!) Paris Buffet, here I come!

5. The Bassets are coming and we are going to conference! I can't wait to see my inlaws. If we lived closer than 5000 miles we would spend a ridiculous amount of time together, so whatever time we can get we are excited about. Shortly after, it looks like Becky and JJ will be here too so it will be great to see them as a married couple. Isn't family great?

Next year, Lawrence Welk!

2009-02-20T13:09:00.002-07:00

This was hands down one of the best Valentine's Days ever in my very short history of fun Valentine's Days. We got to spend it with every old person within a thirty mile radius of Colorado Springs. Why would we do that? Because we got free tickets to see members of The Temptations, The Platters, The Drifters, and The Coasters in concert together! It was fantastic! It takes something like that to remind you how great songs like "My Girl", "Under the Boardwalk", "Up on the Roof", and "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" really are. And let me tell you, if you are ever concerned that Grandma has fallen and can't get up just put on Chubby Checker's "The Twist". Apparently, the muscles in geriatric calves are conditioned to spring up if that song is played regardless of whether Grandma's hips are in any condition to twist again like she did that summer... in 1958. One of the funniest moments of the evening for me was when they ended the show with "Shout". It was TOTALLY Animal House without the togas! The only problem was when we were singing "A little bit softer now, a little bit softer now" I realized that we were pretty much the only ones getting down on the ground. It hit me, though, that we were probably the only people in the whole auditorium whose knees could handle the strain! I have to say I really missed my family that night because we would have rocked that joint!

The other great thing this week is that I got to subsitute Seminary for three days. I must admit that I did experience a twinge of terror at the prospect of entertaining five classes of teenagers but they were fantastic. It made me a bit nostalgic for Sister Kerr and seeing the gang every morning in the Primary Room. It never ceases to amaze me, the caliber of young men and young women we have in the world today. I know we like to act as if the youngest generation are slackers and losers, but that has not been my experience. Lets just hope I can keep that attitude when I have one of my own!

Just a perfect blendship.

2009-02-06T15:40:00.003-07:00

I will admit to being a friend snob. The problem is I am perfectly content to be alone most of the time, so for me to spend energy on cultivating a relationship with someone means I really like you. I know that makes me sound horrible, but the first step towards recovery is acceptance.

Yesterday I spoke to a friend over the phone who I hadn't talked to in ages (totally my fault!) and I had that wonderful sensation of realizing that even after months of silence we could pick up exactly where we left off. Friendships like these are such a rare commodity in this world. I hope my friend and her crazy sidekick (you know who you are Burnham!), know how much I love and miss them. They were truly some of the great finds of my life and nursed me through the trauma of being YW president. For that alone, you have earned your place in heaven! Man, I miss you two...

For all of my shyness, one of the things I despise most about myself, I have managed to create a circle of friends I do not deserve. I am truly blessed. Last week, Nathan and I had the opportunity to attend a family sealing at the temple. For those of you who have never been, the family kneels at an alter and then is surround by a circle of friends and extended family. It struck me how important that circle is, how it supports you, protects you, and cries with you over the good and the bad. Thank you, those in my circle. I know I am terrible at getting back on emails and phone calls, but please know that you are in every prayer, both for a blessing of safety and peace and also for gratitude that, as Maria told Captain Von Trapp, somehow in my youth or childhood I must have done something good.

An Observation

2009-01-30T15:58:00.004-07:00

Do you think it's written into her contracts?

Kate & Leopold (2001) .... Kate McKay
You've Got Mail (1998) .... Kathleen Kelly
Courage Under Fire (1996) .... Karen Walden
Restoration (1995) .... Katharine
French Kiss (1995) .... Kate
I.Q. (1994) .... Catherine Boyd
Flesh and Bone (1993) .... Kay Davies
Top Gun (1986) .... Carol Bradshaw
Wildside .... Cally Oaks

Step off Mr. Nobel.

2009-01-26T15:37:00.004-07:00

I have been under the weather this last week so I haven't felt much up to blogging but I would be remiss if I didn't mention the plan for world peace I came up with in between hacking up my lungs. We don't need a UN, we don't need a G8 conference, we don't need NATO, UNICEF, or NAFTA. We just need one huge worldwide Killers concert.

Oh, Brother Brandon, how you and your band of Merry Men rocked my world.

I was wondering what kind of crowd was going to show up at the Magness Arena and assumed that our fabulous foursome were going to be amongst the older of the crowd but I was mistaken. There were, of course, younger teenagers but there were also a lot of people who looked to be in their late 40's/early 50's. I figure, if "Mr. Brightside" can bring people together from across generations, why not other social divisions as well? I think we need to get President Obama to host the next Middle East peace talks in between the regular set and the encore.

You can't fight after that, can you?

I KNEW IT!!!

2009-01-08T10:14:00.001-07:00

Having a Big Derriere May Be Good for Your Health, Study Finds
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Women can stop worrying about pear-shaped figures — fat bottoms have been scientifically proven to be a sign of good health.

New research, published in the journal Cell Metabolism, suggests the fat responsible for producing the pear shape flaunted by celebrities such as Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce may be active in protecting women from diseases by releasing certain hormones.

Buttock and hip fat may protect women against type 2 diabetes, researchers from Harvard Medical School found.

When buttocks and hip fat from mice was injected into other mice, their bodies easily used the blood sugar-regulating hormone insulin and lost weight.

They were also able to make better use of insulin, the main hormone linked to diabetes.
People with the apple shape, where fat is stored around the tummy, can be more prone to type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Those with pear-shaped bodies, where fat is collected in the buttocks, are less likely to have these disorders.

Researcher Dr. Ronald Kahn insisted that not all fat was bad for health. "The surprising thing was that it wasn't where the fat was located, it was the kind of fat that was the most important variable," he said.

"Even more surprising, it wasn't that abdominal fat was exerting negative effects, but that subcutaneous fat was producing a good effect. I think it's an important result because not only does it say that not all fat is bad, but I think it points to a special aspect of fat where we need to do more research."

Scientists also monitored the health of the mice given the fat transplants. When it was inserted into the tummy area, the mice lost weight and their fat cells shrank. The researchers will now try to identify the hormones.

This had better work or someone's going to pay.

2009-01-07T12:40:00.003-07:00

Last night was the first official weigh in for "The Beagliest Loser", my family's effort to get in shape and feel great. Let's just say I stepped on the scale and thought "Ah yes, the time has come". Fortunately, it was not as bad as it could be, but it certainly was not where I want it to be. In an effort to get a jump start, Nathan and I are doing the Master Cleanse Lemonade diet for the next ten days. What is the Master Cleanse Lemonade diet? Unofficially, it is a process where you just keep drinking nasty tasting things so that you will actually be averse to putting anything in your mouth again. Perhaps next time I will just have my jaw wired shut. In the meantime, a hearty good luck to all of my fellow competitors, and may the person who is willing to ingest the nastiest stuff win!

A few of my favorite things...

2009-01-05T12:20:00.004-07:00

1. Ethan James McLaughlin. Not only is he beautiful, brilliant, and bulky, he seems to think that I am the bees knees, thus the fact that he couldn't keep his hands or incredibly wet mouth off of me. Just like a man! Here's a little footage of him and his first Christmas...

2. Reuniting with great friends. Nathan and I were able to catch up with some dear friends from our time in India, the Jordans. They were truly our lifelines there and sometimes about the only thing that kept Nathan from going postal. It was fantastic to meet their new little boy as well who proudly owns a onesie that proclaims "Made in India". Great stuff.

3. Food, glorious food. Enough said.

4. Family. It's so nice to go back and be someone's daughter once in awhile, to just relax and remember what it used to feel like because it's what it still feels like when we get together.

5. Ridiculously long car trips. Okay, maybe not so much when you stretch a nine hour trip into a twelve and a half hour trip, but if the company is good somehow the hours don't feel so long.

6. The sweet smell of victory. I am honored and truly humbled to hold the distinction of being both Queen of Hearts and of Spades. Not only did I sweep in Utah, but last night I was part of a team that will go down in the annals of time. Two blind nils (one successful) and two regular nils assured Brooke and I that our names will be spoken in hushed tones over green velvet covered tables until the end of time. Brava, my ballsy friend!

Out of the mouths of babes...

2008-12-15T09:32:00.003-07:00

(Overheard yesterday in Junior Primary music time)

Brooke: Today we are talking about people in the scriptures who waited for Christmas. Anna was a woman who was waiting for the Christ child. If you were waiting for Jesus, where would you wait for him?

Children: Bethlehem! The stable! By the manger!

Brooke: I'll give you a hint. You boys will go there before you go on your missions, and when you girls want to get married you'll go there with your boyfriends.

Arabella: Brigham Young University!

A greater truth has rarely been spoken.

I miss Arizona today.

2008-12-15T09:31:00.001-07:00

Just another day in the life of Nathan Jones.

2008-12-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

Still, Still, Still.

2008-12-04T10:23:00.003-07:00

Today is one of those beautiful snowy days where the flakes drift down without any biting wind or ice. It's that perfect powder that just settles on things and makes everything clean. So today I am in a festive mood, this being the first happy snow in about ten years. I don't know how long it will last, but for now I have Sarah McLachlan singing Christmas carols on and I am going to work on the Ward Christmas party and enjoy the gentle peace of the Earth at rest.

And the winners are...

2008-11-24T10:59:00.003-07:00

Crazily enough, this is actually the calmest of the pictures that I have displaying the triumph that is our Twilight t-shirts. That's right, a round of applause to Melinda for her winning entry of "Be a Lover, Not a Biter" which caused many a head to turn when Jamica passed by in the concession stand. As you can also see, Brooke went with the saucy "Vamped Up", whereas I went a bit of a different direction with "Who the Forks is Bella?". An honorable mention to Lynn for "Bear... it's what's for dinner" which got a lot of laughs all around. We thought about wearing our shirts to church the next day, a la prom dresses, but in the end we decided against it as we would be too much of a distraction. When you're this hot and all...

Karine would be so proud.

2008-11-17T14:02:00.004-07:00

As most of you all know, the most anticipated movie in Mormondom since "The Empire Strikes Back" (Dude, the Force is totally the priesthood!) is coming out this weekend. That's right, you fans of all things Stephenie Meyer, we're talking "Twilight" (Insert girly screams here). I still haven't figured out what makes a vampire hot - do you know what they do?!?- but the books are a fun read so I am in for the movie. My friend Brooke and I have decided to get into the spirit of it and embrace our inner dorks by making t-shirts for the movie, so I have been tasked with coming up with some funny sayings. Knowing the infinetly creative minds of my fellow dorks (aka family and friends) I would love any suggestions that you might have. I will be sure to post a picture of us in our finished projects. In the meantime, enjoy the movie, Karine, as I am certain that you are probably already camping out in front of the theater!

Apparently, some people take my blog quite seriously.

2008-11-14T17:08:00.003-07:00

Is it over the top to call myself visionary?

Pentagon Clears Flying-Car Project for Takeoff
By Noah Shachtman November 13, 2008

Pentagon mad-science division Darpa is helping build thought-controlled robotic limbs, artificial pack mules, real-life laser guns and "kill-proof" soldiers. So it comes as no surprise, really, that the agency is now getting into the flying-car business, too.

Darpa hopes its "Personal Air Vehicle Technology" project, announced yesterday, will ultimately lead to a working prototype of a military-suitable flying car -- a two- or four-passenger vehicle that can "drive on roads" one minute and take off like a helicopter the next. The hybrid machine would be perfect for "urban scouting," casualty evacuation and commando-delivery missions, the agency believes.

Mix it up! Mix it up!

2008-11-14T12:03:00.004-07:00

Okay, If you want to laugh for one minute and fifty-five seconds while learning something that will not only enrich your happiness but also the lives of your loved ones check this out. Make sure you tell your friends and leave a comment or two. Brooke - you so cra-zay!

Ready or not...

2008-11-11T11:09:00.002-07:00

I don't usually respond to tags (or is it that people don't tag me?) but this is for Lynn, the most Christian woman I know.

Eight Favorite TV Shows:

1. Arrested Development - Anyone who doesn't like this show should just stop reading right now because there is no hope for friendship between us.
2. The Office - If you don't know Michael Scott, you are Michael Scott.
3. 30 Rock - I nominate Alec Baldwin for the funniest man on television ever.
4. Project Runway/Top Chef - Same show, different medium. Both fierce.
5. Law and Order - The original will always be the best.
6. CBS Sunday Morning - They always do interesting stories on the news, culture, politics, etc.
7. Masterpiece Theater - The perfect way to end a Sunday.
8. Pardon the Interruption - I could listen to Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon all day, even when I don't know who the heck they are talking about.

Eight Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Laundry
2. Read the first 50 pages of "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime". Thanks Brooke!
3. Looked at a bunch of jobs
4. Edited some writing
5. Made a goal to run
6. Decided to put off running
7. Checked up on my dad
8. Had the third great night of sleep in a row

Eight Things I Look Forward To:

1. Jet Packs
2. Flying Cars
3. Wearing metallic clothes
4. Eating food compressed into pellets
5. The day that chub is sexy again
6. The day that ghostly white skin is sexy again
7. The day that Obama makes all my dreams come true
8. Thanksgiving

Eight Favorite Restaurants:

1. Ego Thai
2. My Big Fat Greek Restaurant
3. Joe's Barbeque
4. The Compass
5. Wagamama
6. Duke's
7. The one on the top of the Westin Kauai
8. Room Service

Eight Things On My Wishlist*

*See "Eight Things I Look Forward To" but replace Thanksgiving with a Jaguar E-Type.

Happiness is...

2008-11-08T14:34:00.003-07:00

1. A giraffe, a lady bug, a turkey, a dragonfly, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid waiting for their closeups.

2. Watching your family making fools of themselves just because you told them to.

3. Hearing everyone say "See you all in 2010!".

No llores por mi, Argentina...

2008-11-06T16:47:00.004-07:00

Hace diez anos ya que recibi mi llamamiento a servir como una missionara de La Iglesia de Jesucristo De Los Santos De Los Ultimos Dias a la gente de la provincia de Buenos Aires, Argentina. No puedo creer que el tiempo ha pasado tan rapido, pero alli esta. Ni un dia ha pasado sin pensar en el ano y medio que pase alla y las experiencias que tuve. Doy gracias a Dios cada dia por las lecciones que aprendi, la cultura que me abrazo, y especialment la gente que conoci. Conoci personas de Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay, Chile, Peru, Bolivia y todos lados de los Estados Unidos. Me ensenaban muchas cosas que llevo conmigo cada dia.

Trabaje con algunas de las mas mejoras mujeres en el mundo. Fue un honor a servir con ustedes.

Aprendi vivir de otro modo, y aprendi que puedo ser feliz aun en situaciones completamente distinctos de los que conozco.

Y me enamore con el campo de Argentina...

Te extrano mucho. Espero que nos encontremos otra vez.

Don't forget to get out and vote!

2008-11-04T11:48:00.001-07:00

Eye of newt and toe of frog...

2008-10-28T12:12:00.004-07:00

Nathan and I are headed up to Washington tomorrow for our biennial family reunion so I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very Happy Halloween.

Beware the terrifying Headless Horseman of the Wal-mart bike aisle!

MWA HA HA HA HA HA!

When it rains it pours.

2008-10-27T11:20:00.003-07:00

This weekend was one of those ones that I figured I just had to survive. I knew it was going to be crazy, but I didn't realize it would also end up being a lot of fun.

Nathan and I have been asked to serve as the activity leaders at our church. It has to be because they don't know us. I actually begged my friend Lindy (the queen of parties) to come up from Arizona to help out but apparently she was already booked. This Friday was our "Harvest Hoe Down!" and for as terrified as I was I think it turned out really well. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera but I think this photo gives you the idea.

Grab yo' pahtna fo' the Vuh-ginia Reel!

I had the amazing realization that if I want Nathan to dance with me I just need to turn on some square dancing music. To say he was excited is an understatement. We ended up having a blast and getting to know some really fun people in the process.

I also play the piano for the primary at church and this week was our annual Primary Program. I don't know why, but playing the piano in front of adults scares the heck out of me so I was up several times in the night worrying about it. Fortunately, I really can only think of one obvious mistake. However, it did happen in my very first introduction. Oh well, you've got to stay humble, I guess. Overall, though, I think the program went really well and the kids sounded great. After church we had a celebratory dinner with the McLays (Brooke is the chorister) that ended in typical fashion with discussion that lasted into the night.

I can tell that I was a little stressed about everything because I, who usually wake myself up by 6:30 at the latest, slept in until 10:00 this morning. It was glorious.

I am repelled and attracted all at the same time.

2008-10-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

I guess I really shouldn't be so surprised.

2008-10-17T10:36:00.004-07:00

This morning I woke up with a little rumbly in the tumbly. I went over what I ate yesterday, but nothing stands out. Hmm... let me see.

Cocoa Puffs
1 lb. Sweet Pork Burrito with Mango Salsa that Nathan brought back from Denver for me
Pizza
Twizzlers
Cookies
Hot Tamales
Doritos
Chips and Salsa

I just can't imagine what it might had been.

By the way, I also shut all the meat of my forearm into an accordian door yesterday and I didn't cuss once!

Thought for the day

2008-10-17T10:35:00.002-07:00

For those of you following the Stephanie and Christian Nielson story...

2008-10-15T10:12:00.001-07:00

http://themotherinme.com/events/book-launch-party-saturday-october-18/

And now for something completely different...

2008-10-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

Number 32 on your scorecard, number 1 in your heart!

2008-10-13T11:07:00.002-07:00

Thirty two is:

The atomic number of germanium
The freezing point of water at sea level in degrees Fahrenheit
The fifth power of two
The number of completed, numbered piano sonatas by Ludwig van Beethoven
The winning car number of Ray Harroun in the inaugural Indianapolis 500 in 1911
The number of teeth of a full set of teeth in an adult human, including wisdom teeth
The number of national teams that have participated in each FIFA World Cup finals tournament since 1998.
The jersey number 32 of: the Los Angeles Lakers' Magic Johnson, the Utah Jazz's Karl Malone, the Portland Trail Blazers' Bill Walton, the Philadelphia 76er's Billy Cunningham, the Boston Celtics' Kevin McHale, baseball pitchers Sandy Koufax and Steve Carlton, Cleveland Browns' running back Jim Brown, and Manchester United football player Carlos Tevez as well as Shaquille O'Neal and Richard Hamilton.
The code for international direct dial phone calls to Belgium
The age I turned on Saturday!

That's right, folks, it was my b-day on Saturday and I ended up having a lovely day. It started with my husband getting up early and whipping up some crepes for me (J'adore, mon amour), then watching Oklahoma cough it up to Texas (Go Longhorns!). After that Nathan and I headed to the church where we had an arts fest and I sat in on a class on writing and publishing. It was really informative and has already helped me come up with some new ideas for some stuff that I am working on - sorry Meg! When we got home it was time for BYU vs. New Mexico and we were lucky enough to have our new friends, the McLays and a couple of Wilcoxes come over to watch with us. There were disgusting amounts of popcorn, Hot Tamales, and Swedish Fish consumed so it was fantastic. After that we headed over to the McLays for dinner and homemade cupcakes which Brooke (my sistah from another mistah - not as good as brotha from a different mutha, but you get the idea!) had just whipped up. Rule number one, baked goods can never have too much butter! Heaven. Then it was time to get jiggy with a little Rock Band. After the kids had been put to bed the adults worshiped at the temple of Rock for a couple of hours. Best phrase from the evening - "Go to bed sweetie. Mommy has to play Blue Oyster Cult." It was a fantastic day - thank you everyone who was involved. Now the countdown has begun to my party next year, where at my fiesta Nathan will announce in the likeness of Jefe from "Three Amigos!" that "Today, she is... thirty-three years old!" Bring your maracas!

Time to gather at the Supernacle!

2008-10-08T11:58:00.005-07:00

As I have gotten older I have come to absolutely love General Conference weekend. It is such a respite for the body and mind and allows me to reevaluate the things that I am doing well and those that I need to work on. This weekend was no different. I must say that I will probably always miss President Hinckley and the sweet humor that always accompanied his powerful messages, but I have seen a new and deeper gravitas rest with President Monson over the last few months that has enriched my love for him. The talks were wonderful and the Primary choir (of course!) touched my heart.

The thing that touched me the most, though, was the announcement of five new temples to be built. I was ecstatic to hear that Argentina is getting a second temple and immediately whipped out my mission journal to try and guess who would be in the new district and would be able to receive those blessings more readily. And Rome?!? Fantastic! What really got me, though, was the complete lack of surprise that I felt when President Monson announced that there would be new temples. When I was a little girl we could literally name off every single one, but now the number expands constantly. I say that the announcement came with no surprise, but that doesn't mean that I didn't feel a sense of wonder all the same. I am grateful to live in a time when there are so many possibilities and the ability to worship as we please is being extended to more and more people of all faiths. I look forward to the day when it is granted to all.

When Hollywood gets it right.

2008-09-27T10:11:00.001-07:00

Nathan is now officially competition-less.

When Hollywood gets it wrong.

2008-09-27T09:32:00.005-07:00

Last night Nathan and I went to see a movie that just came out. We were excited since we hadn't been out to see a flick in awhile since the summer movie lineup died down. Now, I will not mention the name of the film, but I will say that we came out of it screaming "ENOUGH LABEOUF!". Is it me, or has Hollywood lost every ounce of creativity in the pursuit of a quick buck? How many sequels and remakes of old TV shows can they pump out before we all realize that they are playing a nasty trick on us? How many times can they steal plot lines and action sequences from classic films before we all start suing for copyright infringement? And seriously, what is up with the handheld camera? Are they trying to make us nauseous? Because it's working. I mean, when you can't even tell what is going on because the camera is jerking around so much it stops being artistic and starts being a crutch for poor staging. Fortunately, every once in awhile a bright spot appears and you realize that there is hope. Witness...

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx/?news=318238&GT1=7701

Six years and counting!

2008-09-19T09:08:00.002-07:00

Love ya, babe!

So this is what seasons look like!

2008-09-13T10:49:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was cold and rainy, but this morning we woke up to see this:

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

A Sweet Surprise

2008-09-11T11:20:00.002-07:00

Today I sat down at my computer when a loud chanting sound starting ringing through my office. Curious to find out what was going on I followed the noise outside and found this:

From one end of our street to the next, the students from the elementary school around the corner were holding up paper American flags that they had made and were chanting "U-S-A!" and encouraging passersby to honk their horns in support. I have to say, that gave me a good smile on the anniversary of a horrible day.

Thanks, kids.

Good Day, Sunshine!

2008-09-02T10:26:00.003-07:00

Since moving to Colorado, Nathan and I have had to opportunity to do something in August that we have not done in six years - go outside! Yes, apparently in some parts of the country you don't have to die from sunstroke should you choose to run to the mailbox and back. It's fantastic. We have had to chuckle when our neighbors have complained about 90 degree weather. I mean, for pete's sake, 90 degrees is November weather in Arizona! Happy happy joy joy!

Last weekend we spent the morning at the Diversity Day celebration downtown where we got to see some children doing Mexican folk dances. I think Nathan was a bit disappointed since we just missed the youth group doing capoeira. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a Brazilian mix of martial arts and dance that Nathan is convinced he could master if given five minutes. Then we had a lovely lunch at the Poor Richard's cafe at one of their tables on the sidewalk. It was a great way to spend a morning. Then the rain clouds gathered and we hurried over to the Fine Arts Center to see the Picasso etchings exhibition. That evening we had gotten tickets to see the Colorado Springs Sky Sox play. They are a farm team for the Rockies and for $11 a ticket we sat right behind home plate. It was pretty much like a spring training game, complete with a major leaguer (Andruw Jones who is rehabbing from the Dodgers). Nathan had a great time with a player from the Las Vegas 51's named Hu. Yes, if you ever want to split your sides laughing, have Nathan perform his "Hu's on First, What's on Second" routine. Classic comedy taken to a new level.

This weekend, though, we embraced our new life in a big way. That's right, we went whitewater rafting! It's Mike's birthday this week, so he got a gang of us together and we headed off to spit in Death's eye.

Our Brave Adventurers

Needless to say, we had a great time. Nathan and I switched off sitting up front so we both got to take buckets of water straight into the face.

That's right, Sunshine Falls. BRING IT!!!

As you can see from these pictures, we had a great time. Of course, I couldn't walk straight for two days (I actually uttered the words "My hip!") and I really could have used a doughnut when I had to sit on the hard piano bench to play for primary on Sunday, but I would go back in a heartbeat.

For those about to rock, we salute you.

2008-08-28T09:59:00.003-07:00

Two weeks ago we fulfilled one of Nathan's greatest dreams by purchasing Rock Band for the Wii. Obviously, this makes us the coolest cos-uncle and cos-aunt to Caden who rocked it out last night. Let's just say that the B-52s never performed "Roam" with the same raw animal emotion that Caden poured into every note. He also has some pretty fly moves. I don't want to scare anyone, but people better be prepared to come up against him when he slaughters the competition at family reunion.

Come listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed...

2008-08-15T11:33:00.004-07:00

I have always accepted the fact that I am just a little bit white trash. I mean, I was born in the South, I have lived in a trailer park, and I have a penchant for antlers used in furniture. Okay, the last one isn't exactly true, but if I ever do get into that there is a store at our local mall that specializes in just such pieces.

Mmmm... classy and antlery.

Apparently I am becoming more so. If you look outside our windows you see that the perimeter of our apartment complex is surrounded by a rather formidable gate. Perfect for keeping intruders out and that sense of safety in, right? WRONG!!! You see, the fence has proven to be a barrier to those who want to walk across the street to get to Walgreens and don't want to bother walking the 50 yards to the gate and they just won't stand for this. So it began with two of the bars simply being pried apart, however this only allowed for the most svelte of vandals to get through. It did, though, make some comical moments for me as I watched people whose mass was not as malleable as they thought try to push and pull themselves through. Not to be deterred, eventually one bar was completely removed from the fence. It looked fantastic. One day the management company came out and fixed the fence and straightened the bent bars. The next day was pure joy to me as I watched one after another of my neighbors walk up to the fence, look at it with pure confusion, and then pace back and forth in front of it, literally scratching their heads with befuddlement. Heaven. This weekend, though, when I got home I saw that necessity is truly the mother of invention.

Two bars removed, one bent, and the pièce de résistance - the shopping cart. I see now why our apartments are listed as luxury living!

And now, a phrase I never thought I would hear...

Nathan (watching the floor exercises of the women's gymnastics all-around final last night): I SWEAR THAT IF THEY GIVE SHAWN JOHNSON ANYTHING LESS THAN A 15.4 I AM KICKING SOME BUTT!

Yeah, it got intense.

Whew! What a week!

2008-08-14T11:29:00.007-07:00

This week has been jam-packed, so I hope you won't all mind a bit of a longer post. I promise to keep it as (t)witty as possible.

1. On Thursday I flew over to Utah to visit the family and see Simon before he heads back to EAC. It was a really great trip. I hadn't seen my sister in far too long and Shane in even longer. I also got to hang with two of my favorite little boys in the world - Henry and Ethan. To win over their affection (oh yes, I will use bribery if necessary) I got them a few little things. One of them was this onesie for Ethan. I was unsure as to the size to get because - well, he has what we call a "weight issue". I mean, check out these thighs!

He was originally wearing pants, but the moment his mom left the room we stripped him down and made sure that his thighs were recorded for posterity and embarrassement with women in his future dating life. They are FANTASTIC!!! If only someone would feel the same way when my thighs get dimpled and puckered. Don't you just love the belt?

With Hank, it took a trip to the park to win him over. It didn't matter that it started to rain, he was one with the swing.

He also mysteriously became my best friend when I was pounding the fun-sized Snickers. I love a man who knows what he wants!

Another great treat this weekend was that my Aunt Lynn, Uncle Steve, and Cousin Brian (along with his lovely girlfriend Alicia) were in town so I got to see Brian before he enters the MTC to serve (this is true) Mandarin speaking in Paris, France. If anyone was going to get this call it would definetly be Brian. He is going to be great.

The reason we had all come together this weekend was to hear Simon give his homecoming talk. He did a wonderful job and I am so proud of him. It was also great to sing with him and Megan in the ward choir that my dad conducts. It took me back...

2. Megan says that if you want to see a cross-section of America, hang out in a gas station for awhile. I think she is on to something. Yesterday, though, I found another place to go for the same experience. I volunteered at the Marian House, a Catholic Charitites soup kitchen downtown. I went with one woman and four young women from my church and worked for about six hours. The first two hours were spent in preperation. We were in charge of making the sandwiches. Now, you have to understand that almost all of the food there is donated so you just have to make do with what you've got. This means that we got to know all the weird meat that has been injected with things that have no business being injected into meat, like olive loaf. Then when the kitchen opened I was in charge of taking the dishes from people who were done and scraping off all the food before giving it to the dishwashers. You wouldn't think this would be a tough job, but thank goodness I had an apron on because the food was flying! I also came to know a slop bucket quite intimately, something I never expected. I was insanely busy for about four hours, but it was a wonderful day. It was the most interesting combination of people - all ages, races, and apparent social circumstances. It seems that they have created a real family there where they are all rooting for each other. It was a great thing to see.

3. The other night I met the newest member of our family, Beckett Beagley.

Though technically he is my first cousin once removed, Mike has decided that Nate and I are his cosuncle and his cosaunt. He is the sweetest little thing and his family seems to be over the moon that he is finally here. So are we!

4. If the goal in golf is to score below par, why do we say when something is bad that it is sub-par?

Not a hard habit to break...

2008-08-04T11:40:00.003-07:00

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been working on getting more physically fit recently. I was in a really good groove, eating well and working out 4-5 times a week. Then we moved to Colorado and that went out the window. I can only blame altitude for so much. I can't use the excuse that I am waiting for the next "Biggest Loser" to inspire me again, and I can't direct all my anger at friends like these. I just have to admit that I am lazy. So last night I put a playlist together and swore that I would not do anything else with my day until I worked out. I am pleased to say that I made it through the workout without collapsing despite the fact that our gym has no air conditioner. I also have to say that I dig the mix I put together which is what I have now put on my jukebox here. So I was wondering, what is everyone's power song - the one that really gets you going? I would love to know so I could put together another playlist of songs for future workouts and possibly for this blog. Let me know and I will see what I can do.

Lions and tigers and bears... oh my!

2008-07-16T11:26:00.004-07:00

I have to tell you, Nathan and I are really enjoying Colorado Springs. The weather is great, the scenery is beautiful, and the people are friendly. However, the last few days have made me question whether it is smart to be here without having a tranquilizer gun handy at all times.

On Saturday, we headed up to Denver to explore a little bit. Denver has officially entered itself on my list of cool cities. The downtown has retained all the old buildings and it is very pedestrian friendly. There are parks and funky shops and a pretty chill attitude that I love. The South Platte River runs through the west side of town near the football stadium, basketball arena, and amusement park. We found a spot to cool our feet off in the water and watch people innertubing and kayaking down the little stretch of rapids that curves around to a dammed off section where kids could jump in and swim.Just up from there is the Denver Aquarium where we spent a few hours. I was pretty impressed with the setup there. They have a great variety of fish, sea turtles, sharks, etc., etc. (to be said like Yul Brenner), but then you turn this corner and BLAM! There are three Sumatran tigers only inches away from you licking their chops.

They were absolutely beautiful and completely bored with all of us, thankfully. I did have to chuckle at the woman behind me who was telling her little baby "Look at the kitty cat, sweetie. He says 'Meeeeeow'." Yes, yes, set this child up for almost certain death, why don't you. He might also purr a bit after PICKING YOUR BONES CLEAN!

You might have seen on the news that there is apparently an African lion roaming the hills around the Springs. Or... it could be a big dog. It seems that the media here (as all media tends to do) is just giving the finger to the idea that the simplest explanation is probably the correct one. I'm thinking Sparky dug a hole under the fence and thought to explore a bit, but I'm probably wrong. It's much more likely that a non-native predator from a different hemisphere thought he would just take in the sights and sounds of our lovely hamlet and get a good stretch of the legs. It makes perfect sense.

Lastly, a bear broke into the local Circuit City. According to the Denver news "Authorities said the young adult black bear had become spooked after setting off an alarm at a nearby Fazoli's restaurant." Hey, we've all been there. We're sitting there enjoying our chicken parmesan when the guy comes around to bring us fresh, hot breadsticks and we lose all control of our bodily funtions. I feel the bear's pain. Sometimes Nathan is so worked up that the only thing to do is to take him to Circuit City to check out the deals on the bargain table up front. He gets very serious at that table. The bear was showing rational consumer behavior. In this tough economy, it pays to bargain shop.

Heroes

2008-07-07T16:04:00.003-07:00

This is something I wrote October 26, 2005. It has come to have even greater meaning over the last month.

I hope my readers will not mind if I wax a bit sentimental today. Usually when I think of a hero I have to do research to find out the details of his or her life because I am not intimately connected with my subject. Today is different in that I have known my hero since the day of his birth. He is my little brother.

I am the oldest of four children who happen to be about as good of friends as it is possible for siblings to be. If you were to dissect us, though, there would be a clear division between the oldest three and the youngest. The older three of us have pretty much had an easy ride through life. We have all excelled at school, extracurricular activities, relationships and employment without having to work too hard. For my youngest brother, however, things have been very different.

Simon was born with several challenges. He was deaf in one ear, had a deviated septum, learning disabilities and ADHD. My parents were told that he would require multiple surgeries and have difficulties learning for the rest of his life. It was a scary outlook but one that my parents accepted and devoted themselves to.

As soon as it was possible, Simon starting seeing specialists. He had to train his eyes and brain to function together and this required hours of repetitive exercises. Not only did he do them day in and day out, but he did them with a sense of humor that I envy.

When he started school, Simon struggled as had been expected but his determination and tenacity kept him going. Instead of being held back a year, he spent his summers with tutors working to catch up with the other kids in his class. As hard as he worked, though, it was never enough and eventually he was placed in learning disabled classes.

Instead of feeling down by the situation, Simon thrived. He had amazing teachers that helped him realize that life holds the same opportunities for him that it does for the other students at his school. It was not uncommon that my family would discuss a celebrity and Simon would say, “Did you know he's LD?”. It was said with a sense of pride as if to say “See? We can make it too!”. His attitude is always a reminder that I have no excuse for laziness.

When the No Child Left Behind law was put into effect and our state required passing a standardized test in order to graduate, we were all concerned. The vast majority of students without learning problems had failed this test and the only provision given for LD students was that they would be given extra time. Time was not what Simon needed. He needed to be able understand what was on the page.

Yet again, Simon amazed us. He went to work with a fury and got tutored on each section. He spent hours every evening teaching his brain to think like a standardized test. He ran drills and practiced like a madman. When the day of the exam came, I am sure we all said a prayer for him. He was more confident than we were.

To make a long story short, Simon passed. Now when I hear news stories about state legislators trying to get the test revoked as not enough students are passing I feel a surge of pride. Simon did it. Simon always does it. This year, his senior year, his counselor shared with him that he was now going to be integrated into all regular learning classes. My little brother has overcome the system.

As I type this, I am crying. Simon is the hardest working person I know. He is also one of the most sensitive, funny, and talented people I know. He deserves every good thing that comes his way. When he goes off to college next year to study to be a teacher I will miss him so much. But as much as I will miss him, I wait with anticipation to see what my hero will overcome next.

Simon, as you overcome this latest challenge in your life I want you to know that I know you are bigger and stronger than it is. You are one of my favorite people and I am one of your biggest fans. I love you.

The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat...

2008-06-15T18:22:00.002-07:00

I love even-numbered years. Why? Because I am an Olympic Games junkie. That's right, I love pretty much everything about it. From the overly-schmaltzy opening ceremonies to the medal counts in the paper every morning to the Lifetime television-esque segments describing how this athlete made it to the games despite being born to a crack-dealing prostitute with one leg and a lazy eye in the back seat of a Geo Prism in the middle of war-torn South Central Domini-Serbi-Babwe. I eat that junk up for breakfast. That's why it is so fantastic that I have a cousin who works at the Olympic Training Center and can get us tickets to the exhibition games. So on Friday night Nathan and I headed over to the Center to watch #4 USA take on #1 Brazil in Women's Volleyball. We had been to college games before, but this took it to a whole new level. These athletes were literally the best of the best -finely tuned machines who are at the peak of their physical condition or, as I like to call them, my peers. These girls were flipping amazing. Power, speed, agility. It was absolutely incredible and the US came out on top at the end of the evening. I was watching these girls and wondered what it must be like to know with absolute certainty that you are among the best in the world at something. That must be incredible. I was also so grateful to be living in a time when women are allowed these opportunities. I know we still have some bounds to leap, but I have to admit to feeling pretty lucky to be around when I am. The other thing I took away from the evening was a great quote on the wall. There are a bunch of plaques on the wall with inspirational thoughts, one of which came from the great female athlete Louisa May Alcott. "Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them." That's why she kicked butt on the shot put in the 1864 games.

Back on track...

2008-06-11T13:57:00.006-07:00

It has been awhile since I have posted but I am certain you will all appreciate the craziness of moving. It has been an insane couple of weeks. We realized that since we found out that we were coming to "The Springs" life has been moving at a frantic pace. I had about a week and a half to pack up, a couple of days driving, three days of looking at apartments, moving day and then setting everything up. Needless to say, we are very happy that life is getting somewhat back to normal. And in the rare few moments that I have scratched my head in despair, wondering why the heck we live our life this way, I turn my head a little to look out my window and see this.

Pike's Peak is literally the purple mountain majesty that "America the Beautiful" was inspired by and, as if that isn't enough to make my red, white, and blue blood pulse through my veins a little faster, I also have the other great symbol of freedom and democracy to gaze upon - the Walgreens.

Nathan is very excited about his new job and the people he is working with. They welcomed him on his first day with the respect and deference that comes with his new position - by tin-foiling his desk.

As you will notice, it came complete with a picture of his beloved sovereign and Amy Winehouse, both great examples of British-ness. A little different that his reception in India. Yes, I think he will get along just fine. . Last night we went to watch the UOP softball team play. It was great to meet his co-workers and to see how quickly he has fit in (not that I was really concerned).

We've been having a great time with Mike, Steph, and Paul. The other night we made stuffed hamburgers (as good as they sound), played Sequence, and polished the evening off with Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. Could life be any better? We are so excited about our life here and how it is shaping out. Though we already miss Arizona, I think this is going to work out beautifully.

P.S. Hope you like the music, Lynn!

Where the eagles fly, from the mountain high...

2008-05-28T16:12:00.002-07:00

Just a quick note to let everyone know that we have arrived in Colorado Springs without incident - if you consider Nathan attempting a u-turn with a gigantic moving truck pulling a car and then rolling over an industrial sized garbage can "without incident". It was a nice trip except for the times when I was white-knuckling it watching the truck slow down to 35 mph chugging up the hills. I considered getting out and pushing but Nathan thought it would be less than effective. As if we didn't feel a warm enough welcome from Mike and Stephanie, who are so graciously putting up with us for a bit, President Bush and the Thunderbirds were also in town today to make sure we felt right at home. Apparently it worked out well because they were able to kill two birds with one stone by appearing at the Air Force Academy graduation as well. Now that is what I call great planning. The last two days Nathan and I have been looking at apartments all over town. My brain has turned to mush and all of the floor plans look the same to me. They have all melted into one mass that I will now refer to as "The Nothing". Fortunately, in the midst of all the stuccoed mazes, glimpses of the beautiful Front Range remind us of how excited we are to be here and how much we are looking forward to showing you all around when you visit. As soon as we get in a place I will make sure to post some pictures so you all can see our lovely mountain home.

Many thanks...

2008-05-15T08:10:00.002-07:00

Thanks, Mom, for letting me come and hang out with you the last few days. I am so excited about the wonderful things happening in your life and the joy that you seem to have reclaimed. It's a good thing to see.

Thanks, Dad, for working so hard for your family. We love you very much.

Thanks, Derek and Emily, for creating this...

None of the pictures I took could even compare. He is a wonderful addition to our family. No one else can throw up down the inside of my shirt with as much aplomb as little Ethan... and LIVE!

Thanks, Elder McLaughlin, for decided that you will figure out how to make your mission the best. We have all been there and you are in our prayers.

Thanks, Nathan, for knowing how important my family is to me. Also, thanks for working so hard and for keeping the big picture in mind. I am so proud of you.

Thanks, Arizona, for being a wonderful surprise to me. We didn't get along very well at the beginning, but I will truly miss you now that it is time to go.

And last of all, thanks, University of Phoenix Colorado Springs, for seeing how incredible my husband is and offering him a job there. We are looking forward to getting to know your town and my cousins better. I think we are going to be good friends very soon...

Le Roi est mort.

2008-05-07T09:05:00.003-07:00

Today should be a day of national mourning. A true hero, one who has changed the face of our country, has fallen and I will be dressing in black for the next year. "Irvine Robbins, who as co-founder of Baskin-Robbins brought Rocky Road, Pralines ’n Cream and other exotic ice cream concoctions to every corner of America, has died at age 90." I owe this man so much for the hundreds of hours of pure enjoyment and fifteen extra pounds of gadunk gadunk that I now carry as a tribute to one man's genius. I will be organizing a 31 gun salute today.
The other day Nathan had to tell a woman who is in training that she would have to leave the class and rejoin the next because she had missed three days due to illness. He was trying to be as kind as possible because this effectively meant that she was going to be without a paycheck for another month so he first asked her how she was doing. She explained to him that she was sorry that she had missed but after her recent battle with cancer when she had to have a shunt put in and the doctor accidentally nicked her lung, causing it to collapse, she has a propensity to lung issues - in this case pneumonia. As you can imagine, Nathan felt GREAT after hearing that. Yeah, Nathan is the guy who fired the cancer patient. Nice. He prefers to call her a "CANCER SURVIVOR, BETH! A CANCER SUR-VI-VOR!" My suggestion to him was to say, "Well, this is not going to be the worst news you've ever gotten!". I am on the hunt for some homeless children or recent widows whose dream he can crush as well.
Try humming the theme song to Star Wars and then immediately jump into the Superman theme song. Good luck! It seriously took me two days to do it. I think that John Williams was paid for the same song twice.

Let's Get Physical!

2008-04-30T12:18:00.004-07:00

In my quest to drop a few lbs and get healthier, I have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week and eating healthier. Apparently the experts are right and it actually works! I am usually on the treadmill, rocking out on my ipod which gives me time to observe the other people who come in there. It seems that it is pretty much the same group of people everyday who have their own quirks and strange habits. Witness...

The Comrades - There are three middle-aged Eastern Europeans who come in the evenings. You can tell them not by the fact that they don't speak any English but by their dress. The first is a grey-haired man who tucks his t-shirt into his sweat pants and accessorizes with a large gold medallion that I am pretty sure Captain Jack is looking for to return to the mystical Incan chest. The other man wears shorts that would not need to be removed for a proctology exam (when he is not is his Speedos strutting out to the pool). Then there is the woman who was on the treadmill last night in a long sleeved shirt, a sweater over her shoulders, long pants, and high heels. If I ever had doubts about the evil of communism before, they are put to rest now.

The "Best of Intentions" Gang - Every once in awhile a guy will come in -and I do mean guy - who is wearing a sleeveless shirt, has a couple of tats, and is wearing a hat on backwards. He will have a jug of water and sweatbands on his forearms and will check himself out in the mirror for a few minutes before selecting the first machine that will have the honor of toning his muscles. He sits down, tests the weight, and then does two reps. I don't mean two sets, I mean reps. Then he will stop and just stare at his feet for about ten minutes before getting up, going to another machine and starting the process over again. He will do this three times, take a big drink as if he has done something, and leave having never broken a sweat. Here's my thought, if you aren't going to exercise why pretend that you are? Don't tease your basketball shorts and cutoff t-shirt that you got from your fraternity pool party into thinking you will actually allow them to fulfill their destiny. That ain't cool.

Her - When I go to the gym in the morning there is this really nice girl who usually is there as well. She is cute and fit, she always says hello and complimented me on my hair when I got it cut. I hate her. Let me explain why. We are always on the treadmills next to each other. If you were to look at the two of us together you would see that there is a huge contrast. As I said, she is cute and fit whereas I look like a sweaty sun burnt puffer fish. In the midst of her running she has the AUDACITY to answer phone calls and hold ten minute long conversations without slowing her pace at all. This is where I generally envision the scene from "Independence Day" where the alien holds the guy from Star Trek up to the window and says "DIE!!!". I sincerely hope that envy has no caloric value.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

2008-04-17T20:50:00.011-07:00

A lot has happened this week and I kept thinking that I should blog about it but I have been lazy. So, I will break it down to make this all the more palatable. Much of it involves TV. Shut up.

Last week - "The Office" returned and the world heaved a collective sigh of relief. We also had a great Ward party/bar-b-que where Nathan and I were in charge of three-legged races, gunny sack races, and making sure everyone had a good time. Nathan also made quite the showing at the egg toss where the inside of his hat ended up filled with slimy yolks that only came out after two times through the washer machine!

Monday - We had some friends over to watch "Hot Rod" and eat pazookis. Nathan and I have taken it upon ourselves to convert the world to one of the funniest, most ridiculous movies ever.

Tuesday - Who doesn't think that "The Biggest Loser" finale is one of the greatest achievements in the marvelous spectacle that is American media? I am going to miss the show for the reason that it is midway through it each week that I get that guilty feeling, change into my gym clothes, and get my rear in gear (it's a lower gear, but it definetly requires shifting!)

Wednesday - I babysat my neighbor's 14-month-old for three and a half hours so she and her husband could go to the temple. As I told Megan this morning, babysitting is a lot easier if it is Hank and I have a bag of M&Ms on hand! The little girl was great though and by the end of it she was playing with my hair and eating my chapstick. A good time was had by all.

Oh, and "Top Chef" was on. Food porn.

Thursday - There is another couple that lives in our apartment complex that we have befriended. They are very young and very newlywed, but cute as can be. They called last night to ask us if we wanted to play volleyball. I don't know if you all know how I feel about volleyball, but I LOVE it. I will pretty much play it anywhere with anyone. As it turns out, they had gotten enough friends to play on one side against a team of pilots who also live in the complex. So the game was touted as "The Mormons vs. The Pilots" and we kicked butt. Nathan came out of it with a big. bloody raspberry on his knee and I had my Lou Ferrigno moment.

What do you think? The similarities are astounding.

Everything was going really well until I went to lunge for a ball. I was wearing a brand new shirt that was made of a lighter material as I had not thought to change. In my very athletic prowess I dove for the ball and heard a pop that I couldn't really understand. It wasn't until I got home later and was changing into a t-shirt that I realized I had literrally ripped the shirt across my shoulders. I could not be contained! So now I, like David Banner, am doomed to wander the planet alone. It is the price I must pay for my overexposure to gamma radiation.

Also, I completed a job that was four years in the making.

That's right, Beagley women, I finally completed my memory board from Family Reunion 2004. It took me long enough, but I think it was worth it. It's hard to see here, but it is a green and brown striped material that matches my bedroom. I also used upholstery nails instead of buttons. I really like the way it turned out. It took me awhile, but I consider myself the Michaelangelo of memory boards, and no one complained that he worked slowly.

A la Rick Astley...

2008-04-12T10:47:00.002-07:00

Thanks Ryan!

It's a cruel (cruel) cruel summer.

2008-04-11T13:01:00.004-07:00

Now I am depressed...

I saw that it will hit 90 degrees this week, and it made me do this...

There's a glitch in the Matrix.

2008-04-07T11:53:00.002-07:00

That's right, it's deja vu all over again. Just like last year, I have made it all this way through my bracket leading for the most part. However, my win could be ripped from me in one fail swoop if Kansas wins tonight. I would then be forced to cede to a victorious Shane whose beloved Jayhawks would have been crowned the champions. I have to say, Shane, that if I have to lose there is no one I would rather lose to than you. You deserve it purely based on your loyalty to a team that has disappointed you time and time again. Therefore, good luck sir and may the best bracket win.

Wait until you see Nathan jump on Oprah's couch!

2008-04-03T12:26:00.003-07:00

So I have been thinking of cutting my hair for awhile as it is warming up and doing your hair when it is 120 degrees is no picnic. The other morning Nathan was watching me run the clamp of fire (AKA my straightener) through my hair and said "You have got to cut your hair. It takes way too much time." It was all the validation I needed. So I headed to the bookstore to pick up some magazines and called my good friend, Jen. She was in the same mindset so we went to her stylist and handed over our inspiration pics with shaking hands. Mine was of Katie Holmes. Let's face it, the girl looks good and I think my outcome was great.

It seriously took me maybe five minutes to style and I think it is so cute! Jen left the salon looking like a serious little hot pregnant mama. What can I say? We're bringing sexy back.

Gentlemen, start your engines!

2008-03-31T11:35:00.002-07:00

On Thursday, I introduced Nathan to the great American tradition of the Pinewood Derby. He had some preconceived notions of what it would be like, namely he thought it was a soap box derby. While this would be infinitely more exciting than what actually happens, it was still an enjoyable evening. Nathan started off with his normally incredulous face, but after studying the merits of each car and discussing the mechanics of a winning carved block of wood on wheels he was drawing up plans in his head and designing his perfect garage to take State. He has already decided that two cars will be made for each tournament - one prototype to act as control and the final product. Here's hoping we never have sons!

In the end, it was one of my wolf's that brought the certificate with the 100 Grand candy bar taped to it proclaiming he was the winner. I have had few prouder moments.

Welcome to the world, baby boy!

2008-03-28T16:33:00.004-07:00

My newest boyfriend, Ethan McLaughlin, joined the family today. Elton John was right about that circle of life thing. It's pretty cool.

Congratulations, Derek and Emily!

Serious questions for a serious time.

2008-03-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

"Good enough...for you" or a horrible, horrible mistake.

2008-03-25T13:02:00.004-07:00

‘Goonies’ Sequel An ‘Absolute Certainty,’ Says Astin

Back in August, the “Goonies” rumor mill went into overdrive when Corey Feldman revealed to MTV News that talks had resumed for a possible animated sequel to the classic 80s flick. Now his co-star Sean Astin has weighed in, exclaiming that as far as he’s concerned, “Goonies 2” is an “absolute certainty.”
“The writing’s on the wall when they’re releasing the [”Goonies”] DVD in such numbers,” enthused the fan-favorite actor, who garnered acclaim in such films as “Rudy” and “The Lord of the Rings” and is now appearing in the baseball epic “The Final Season.”
According to Feldman, numerous plotlines are floating around, with his favorite involving the children of the original Goonies embarking on an adventure of their own. That idea’s a home run for Astin, who says the real-life growth of the actors should factor heavily into a “Goonies 2.”
“Steven [Spielberg] and Dick [Donner] and all the powers that be … they really feel like the thing that made the movie strong was that it was about kids, so they really want to make the next movie about kids…the next generation of Goonies. And they’ve had a hard time tackling that.”
Like Feldman, Astin sees the passing of the torch concept to be a logical progression for the franchise. “I have three children,” he said, “and Corey’s got a kid now [too]. So as we now all have kids who are coming into the age that we were when we made the movie, it’s more likely to me that they’ll figure out how to design a story that will satisfy the older audience in terms of connecting with the original 1985 Goonies, and then [also] create this new thing.”
While Astin admits it’ll be difficult to recapture the magic, he’s confident that the “creative lightning” will strike that allows the project to move forward. “I remain as open-minded and willing to participate as I have ever been,” he declared.

God Bless Youtube.

2008-03-20T22:13:00.003-07:00

Would someone explain to me why I think this is the funniest commercial I have seen in years? I seriously belly laugh every time I see it.

Not only can you look up great commercials on Youtube, you can introduce your English husband to every American kid's dream that was a child in the 80's.

Stacey was so Fergalicious!

I know this post is totally random, but enjoy!

Do you believe in improbabilities?

2008-03-19T11:55:00.005-07:00

March should not be a difficult month. We have a couple of family birthdays, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and (in Arizona) the weather is absolutely gorgeous. But then it happens. Like clockwork, I get an email with a link that leads me to this...

This is a hard day. It means that March Madness and almost certain humiliation are just around the corner. I should preface this by saying that until I receive my bracket I have almost zero interest in college basketball. All of my sporting attention is directed towards sending good vibes to my beloved Phoenix Suns. Once that bracket arrives, though, I am like Eisenhower plotting the invasion of Normandy - complete with sand charts and aerial maps. I listen to sports radio and look up the experts advice for some little clue or insight that will give me some kind of leg up. As yet, my planning has proven unsuccessful. Last year was the closest I came, only losing to Nathan in the second to last game. Curse you, Hoyas! I have filled out my bracket for this year and it looks pretty dull, to tell the truth. Not too many loops thrown in there. As for my prediction...

GO TAR HEELS!!!

(please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, etc.)

Ode To My Masseuse

2008-03-18T10:47:00.003-07:00

(Nathan got me a spa day for Christmas and I finally got to use it. In celebration I wrote this little ditty.)

Oh, my masseuse.

Leann.

How do I count the ways?

Under cover of a dimly lit room

and an expertly tucked sheet,

You see the wide expanse of my broad, white, buttocks

not as a dimpled wasteland

But as a canvass on which to ply your art.

Baste me like a

Christmas Goose

And bake me for 60 minutes

Under the dulcet tones of

a pan pipe accompanied by crashing waves.

Make me forget that I am in a

J.C. Pennys.

Send me instead to Sweden, Shiatsu-land, warm towel-land

And let me die

as greasy as a pig in a rodeo.

Thank-you Nathan!

Beannachtai na Feile Padraig!

2008-03-17T00:34:00.004-07:00

... or in other words, Happy Saint Patrick's Day! I hope that this day finds you all happy, healthy, and as lucky as can be. Enjoy the cabbage and corned beef and get yourself a copy of "The Quiet Man", one of my favorite movies ever. As for any friends from Ireland that might be checking out the blog today, a sincere apology for the bastardization of your patron saint. We just can't leave anything well enough alone!

By the way, enjoy the tunes. I thought it would be nice to feature some Irish artists this week.

I also thought it would be nice to close with a lovely phrase in Irish.

"Gheobhaidh tú gach eolas san bhileog."

Translation: You will get all the information in the leaflet.

Great-great Grandpa would be so proud.

Oh give me land, lot's of land...

2008-03-10T10:52:00.005-07:00

When Nathan and I were first married, we toyed with the idea of buying a home. I will admit though that I was completely unprepared for the idea of contracting myself to a 30 year debt when I have spent my whole life shuffling from place to place. Now, however, that I have reached the lofty heights of my 30's - an age that completely prohibits me from ever appearing on a "Girls Gone Wild" video - I have started thinking that laying down some roots and slapping up some paint doesn't sound like such a terrifying idea anymore. It seems that the market agrees. This last weekend we went out and looked at some homes being built south of town. We had seem some of them last year, when the idea of going to India was still being tossed around as a possible alternative. We had found one that we really liked and had talked to the builder about what would be required to get us in. Then we found out that we were off to Delhi and that was that. So we decided to just see what prices are like now for fun. HOLY HANNAH! Let's just say that I could see Nathan mentally cashing out his 401k right there and then. Prices had dropped about 15% with all sorts of incentives. It was fantastic. We took a look at the homes and decided that they probably aren't really what we want now, but it was great to see the market finally going our way. Is it horrible that I actually have a moment of glee when I hear that foreclosure rates are skyrocketing? "Mwa-ha-ha!" she laughs devilishly while rubbing her hands as if to remove the imagined spot of blood...

By the way, when I was putting together a presentation for our ward Valentine's party I looked up a list of romantic couples on the web. One that they suggested was MacBeth and Lady MacBeth. Yeah. It kind of reminds me of when I was working at the bookstore and a boy came in looking for "Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumb-ass. You know, a little knowledge goes a long way.

We have also been having a blast with our Wii. Nathan traded our Call of Duty 3 for Guitar Hero with a co-worker this weekend, and we had at it. The first night was a bit frustrating for me as I was used to playing the bass on Rock Star which is much more on the regular beat as opposed to the lead guitar which is everywhere, but now I am hooked. We decided that we were going to muscle through the frustration by making the motto "Do you want to have fun, or do you want to be a Guitar Hero?!" our call to arms. It worked. My tennis game has also stepped up a notch although sometimes I get a little too into it and my arm ends up really sore. I just tell myself that this is what the Williams sisters had to deal with as well, but it all turned out great in the end for them. Oh Wii, where have you been all my life?

Love and Marriage

2008-03-04T10:05:00.002-07:00

I had a serious a-ha moment the other day. And no, it did not involve a Norwegian band with a serious penchant for hitting ridiculously high notes while being chased through a pencil drawing by slightly older motorcycle riders brandishing wrenches. It was much more exciting than that. I was leaving my hotel room the other night to head down to a business dinner when I realized that Nathan was not there to hold my key and chap stick like he always does and I was going to have to come up with other arrangements. I'm not going to lie - it threw me for a bit of a loop. Now, this may seem like a small thing but it made me realize that Nathan and I are seriously married. I have, of course, realized that for the last five and a half years we have been legally and religiously recognized as a couple but at that moment I realized that our lives have become completely mangled with each others. I guess I no longer function as well on my own. I do much better when I know exactly where my chap stick is and that it is coming home with me when the dinner is over. What can I say? It may be messy and confusing at times, even deranged and terrifying, but I love my guy - my lip balm carrying man. This must be what J.Lo and Marc Anthony have...

She works hard for the money...

2008-02-29T09:34:00.004-07:00

It has been awhile since I posted because I have been out of town this week. On Thursday I found out that my presence was desired at a business conference/investor schmooz-fest in Palm Springs for a few days and the thought of enjoying some time with family and friends in a lovely hotel was just too good to pass up. So I headed over and enjoyed myself in perfect weather, with wonderful food, great entertainment, and very productive meetings. The first evening was spent with the principles of the company enjoying an evening at a Beni Hana style restaurant. Now, my theme in life is "Dignity, always dignity", but this is difficult for people to believe when they see you (a new acquaintance) catching shrimp in your mouth that is being flung from several paces by the chef wielding a meat cleaver and butcher knife. It just doesn't jive, but it is fun! The next day was spent in meetings and a lovely buffet dinner where the entertainment was provided by Dan Tyminski, the man who was the voice of George Clooney in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" and a member of Alison Krauss and Union Station.

To say that I enjoyed him would be a vast understatement. I was grinning in that way that feels like your face could shatter into thousands of little pieces if your skin got stretched any more. He was wonderful and his rendering of "A Man of Constant Sorrow" was amazing. A real treat.

The next day, many of the menfolk went out with Johnny Miller for a round of golf and then clinic. We womenfolk headed off the the outlet mall! Then that evening there was another lovely dinner with Dan Tyminski again and then a comic doing interpretations of popular music. My favorite was the Doobie Brothers where he sang along without knowing any of the words. Fantastic!

Amongst all of this, I completed my MBA on Monday. I can't believe it is done and that I now have a graduate degree. It feels great and a little strange to not have that responsibility any more. I did have a dream the other night that it turned out that I actually had another class to go and I was late in starting. Why does our brain do that to us?

Overall, I had a really great week. While I was gone, Nathan finally found his coveted Wii and has been killing Nazis ever since. I played baseball with him the other night and my arms still have not completely recovered! Who knew you had to work out to play video games?

When it rains, it pours!

2008-02-20T11:09:00.003-07:00

Congratulations to Sister Charlie Fisher, my brother-in-law's amazing girlfriend, who just received her mission call to the Taiwan Taichung mission where she will speak Mandarin. It seems that Jake's campaign of "locking her in" has worked! Victory!!! We are so excited for Charlie, she will be a fantastic missionary. And that brings our count up to three!

These are days...

2008-02-18T22:09:00.003-07:00

It has been awhile since I have posted, but it has been for very good reasons. Nathan and I were up in Utah last week to see my brother Simon off at the MTC. I am so proud of him and how grown-up his is now. He just looked so prepared as we said our goodbyes and he headed through the missionary door as we went through the family door. He is going to be amazing. What am I saying? He already is!

It was great to be back at the MTC. I know some missionaries really struggle there - I loved it. It was an experience that I will never forget and walking back into the lobby brought back a flood of wonderful memories. I will admit to tearing up just for being back, but that was quickly disrupted when the sweet little old lady at the door thought that I was Simon's mom. Yeah, thanks. Apparently, I can just bypass having a child altogether and adopt a college freshman instead. Better make it a community college freshman - I ain't made of no bling!

My Boys

I always love it when my family gets together and now that we have little ones again it is even better. I got to hang out with my little boyfriend, Henry, all week and celebrate the coming of my new little boyfriend, Ethan, who will be joining us very soon. It is so amazing watching your siblings become parents. It adds a layer of respect and appreciation to your already incredible relationship. I am so proud of Megan and how she is molding her son, and of Derek and how he is conquering his very valid fears. It's a good feeling to admire your brothers and sister.

I had to fight the elements on both my trip up and back from Utah. It seemed that the north wind was conspiring against me. I had about a two hour delay sitting on the tarmac going up and a three hour delay on the way back so I got home at 2:30 am. My sweet husband stayed up and picked me up at the airport when I could have caught a cab. I've got a great guy. The next day was spent setting up the ward Valentine's party (ah, yes, Nathan and I are on the activites committee now, too) and started to feel a little under the weather that evening. I have spent the last three days out of commission. I mean coughing, sneezing, speaking in tongues, you name it. Fortunately, I feel I have made a turn and am hoping to be up and about tomorrow. Regardless, I am so grateful for last week. I am going to miss Simon so much, but there is nowhere I would rather he be.

Exito, Elder!

NFL EXPERIENCE BABY! WOO!

2008-02-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

As everyone in the US knows, the attention of the whole country was pointed at our fair city as Glendale, AZ hosted the show of shows, the Superbowl. Nathan's boss, Nancy, is a football fanatic and she was a volunteer for all of the pre-game events. She brought a pair of tickets for the NFL Football Experience to work and Nathan (shockingly enough) won them in a drawing. So he got off work early and we headed over the the stadium to check out the activities. It was a blast! We wandered around the tents where there were players signing autographs, kids running drills, and memoribilia. We were bummed that we missed Archie Manning hosting the Nerf Quarterback Challenge (no joke) but we were very excited by the monstrous ferris wheel as you can see in the picture below.

Could the evening get any better?

In fact, Nathan was so excited that he kept yelling, "NFL EXPERIENCE BABY! WOO!"

After about twenty of these, this was my reaction.

And then he stopped.

We went over to the tent that was a mini Hall of Fame. We compared Nathan's feet with Edgerrin James' and it turns out the Nate's feet are even bigger than an NFL player's.

We saw Joe Kapp's jersey (this one's for Dad).

Saw a couple of other guys' rookie jerseys and then tried on some of our own.

Since Brett couldn't be there...

Nathan said that for some reason he really wanted to be Tom Brady at that moment.

This one is for Lynn and the fact that she will bare-knuckle brawl with anyone who doesn't agree that the Seahawks were robbed two years ago.

Yes, we got our picture with the Vince Lombardi trophy before Eli did. I guess that makes us the true champions.

Bethany's got back!

2008-02-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

So after a few weeks of running, I measured myself to see how much junk I had unloaded from my trunk. In some cruel demonic trick I had actually gained three pounds. The conclusion that I have come to is this...

Running is evil.

So, I have decided to try a different method. I mentioned in a previous post that I am doing a detox diet. Yesterday was my one week mark so I decided it was time to check the hated measurements. I am pretty pleased with the results - I am down 5 lbs. and 7 inches! HOWEVER, not one millimeter was shed from my rear end. Curses! I am not deterred though and I am reluctantly embracing my bootyliciousness. I don't think that even I am ready for this jelly.

Avec plasir...

2008-01-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

The other morning I woke up wanting pain au chocolate (can you tell I am doing a detox program right now?)For that reason I have put some French songs on the blog. They are either ones that we heard last time we were in France or just songs that I love. Enjoy!

Akela say...

2008-01-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

Despite all of my expectations, I love cub scouts! It is one of the great surprises of my life (besides straightening irons and my new found love of yogurt). I never knew that you can plant flowers and play Twister for an hour and have that count as your church duty. It is fabulous!

Last week was my first pack meeting where the den vouched for me and introduced me to the pack. I was up front in a shirt about 15 sizes to big with an Indian headdress on, banging a drum. It looked something like this...

I can paint with all the colors of the wind.

Thank you.

2008-01-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

Death is a Dialogue between

The Spirit and the Dust.

"Dissolve" says Death—The Spirit "Sir

I have another Trust"—

Death doubts it—Argues from the Ground—

The Spirit turns away

Just laying off for evidence

An Overcoat of Clay.

Emily Dickinson

PhotoBucket Phun!

2008-01-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

My cousin's wife came up with a cool thing on her blog so I thought I would be completely unoriginal and do the same thing. The rules are:

1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket
3) Take a picture from the FIRST PAGE of results and post.

So here goes!

1. How old are you next birthday?

2. Where would you like to travel?

3. Your favorite place?

4. You favorite food?

I love cake in all it's varieties. It is truly ambrosia. And carrot cake and spice cake are not cakes.

5. Your favorite animal?

6. Your favorite color?

7. Where you live?

Odeley, vato.

8. Name of a past pet?

And he was this scary too.

9. Your nickname or screen name?

ophelias_posy

"There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray, love, remember: and there is pansies. that's for thoughts... There's fennel for you, and columbines: there's rue for you; and here's some for me: we may call it herb-grace o' Sundays: O you must wear your rue with a difference. There's a daisy: I would give you some violets, but they withered all when my father died: they say he made a good end,--"

10. Your middle name?

That my Aunt Lynn with an e next to her. Hence "Lynne".

11. Last name?

12. Your first job?

13. Your grandmother's name?

I actually am one of the few to have two grandmothers.

My grandmother was amazing opposite Rock Hudson.

My other grandmother's name is one of my favorites - Noel.

14. What you miss the most?

I will leave you with this mystery - is it college that I miss or is it Bluto? Try not to stay up at night wondering about this!

Great Honk!

2008-01-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

The Joneses had a really nice MLK weekend. We celebrated the triumph of civil rights in America by going to movies, taking long naps, and eating way too much. And speaking of seeing movies, holy hannah did we see a movie. I got up my annual spurt of courage (have I mentioned I don't do scary movies?) and went to see "Cloverfield" with Nathan on Saturday night. Okay, if I think about it rationally it is completely irrational to be afraid of a giant lizard attacking New York. I mean, we've seen it before, right? WRONG! It was terrifying! I have perfected my technique of sticking my fingers in my ears and pushing my thumbs as hard as I can into my eyes while muttering "Um-mm, um-mm". Nathan asked why I do the eye thing to which the answer is that my eyes can't close enough on their own. They could accidently flap open, letting in something that would keep me awake for the next three nights. Let me say, the movie was amazing. The effects were cool, the way it was shot was innovative, and the monster was uuuuuu-gly. It was produced by the same man who does "Lost" so there are tons of questions left when the movie is over which is fantastic! So I guess what I am saying is if you are in the mood for a scary, but not too scary, action packed flick - give it a go.

I don't know why I was so afraid in the movie. I am invincible, and I have the proof. On CNN the other day they showed a clip from YouTube that shows an intersection in India. Nathan and I decided that the white car at the top that drives into oncoming traffic must be Muktar, our old driver, since he did that on a regular basis. As you will see after watching this, if driving in India didn't kill me, no forty-story tall monster eating New York City can either!

Bethany's Book Club

2008-01-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

My sister bemoans the fact that I love sad books. What can I say? I love putting a book down after reading the last page and thinking "How tragic!". (If I was a Backstreet Boy I would say "How tragical!") So with great sadness (remember, that's a good thing) I recommend Possession by A. S. Byatt. You might remember that this was made into a movie a few years ago with Gwyneth Paltrow and Aaron Eckhart. Please do not let the movie (good but not great)deter you from reading the book. I will warn you ahead of time that it is not easy to read, but this is one of the things I found so fascinating about it. The story is of two modern day academics who are studying the secret lives of two Victorian poets. Not only does Ms. Byatt write the prose of the story, but she also writes poetry in the voices of the poets. Now some of these poems are long and flowery in their language, but the way they give insights into the history of their authors is really quite amazing. I have spent the last week reading way too late into the night and then waking up to read some more early in the morning. As I said, this is not an easy read so don't take it on vacation with you but if you have a yen for something that requires some investment give it a go. As my pile of books next to my bed is diminishing, I would love any suggestion on a good book to read. I am planning on starting Atonement by Ian Mcewan tonight and my goal is to not picture Kiera Knightly's razor sharp clavicles once. Wish me luck!

Oh dear.

2008-01-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

The other night I heard something of TV that shook me to the very core. The commercial said, "Coming to ASU's Gammage Theater, 'Camelot' starring Lou Diamond Phillips!". I am not kidding. Witness for yourselves...

You may want to get the kids out of the room.

Bethany's Celebrity Playlist

2008-01-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

I was on the iTunes store awhile ago and started browsing through some of the celebrity playlists. Who knew Jim Carey and I share so much of our musical tastes? So I thought it would be fun to occasionally post my own celebrity playlists. As you can see on the right, you can also listen to the songs I pick and nod your head in agreement as to their spectacular-ness. So here goes!

To Be Suprised (Sondre Lerche) - I cannot state this emphatically enough. I LOVED "Dan In Real Life". True, I could attribute this to my love for Steve Carrell, but then I think of "Anchorman" and I realize that I can say no to him - except for the gang fight scene. "Wow, that escalated quickly." Classic. I also loved the soundtrack (back to "Dan In Real Life"). I think this song is the perfect blend of a sweet message and fun music. I highly recommend the whole album.
Business Time (Flight of the Conchords) - I first heard this song five years ago and about wet my pants from laughing so hard. So funny, so true, so sexxxxxxx-ay...
Fall At Your Feet (Crowded House) - I am a huge Crowded House fan. Interesting lyrics+ cool music= Happy Bethany. It was hard to choose just one. Good thing I can change my playlist whenever I want!
Have You Seen My Love? (Rosie Thomas) - Nathan and I saw Rosie Thomas open for Jewel at Royal Albert Hall in London. Rosie blew Jewel's doors away. She has the most beautiful singing voice which is funny since when she talks she sounds like Minnie Mouse.
If I Ever Leave This World Alive (Flogging Molly) - Great Tune! I love that this song is so distinctly Irish. P. S. Go see "P.S. I Love You".
Starlight (Muse) - Muse, along with The Killers, hearkens back to darker sound of late Depeche Mode/The Cure that me likey so much. And with that in mind...
All These Things That I Have Done (The Killers) - "I got soul, but I'm not a soldier". 'Nuf said.
Fell In Love With A Boy (Joss Stone) - What can I say? I think she was still a fetus when she produced this album but MAN! Girl's got chops!
Shelter (Ray LaMontagne) - Just enjoy.
Gone, Gone, Gone (Robert Plant and Alison Krauss) - I love interesting duets. This reminds me of "Portland, Oregon" with Loretta Lynn and Jack White (Maybe that will be on a later playlist). I also love the rockabilly feel to it. I think I secretly want to get tatted up and wear my hair in pincurls.

Enjoy!

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." - Jane Austen

2008-01-11T10:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who feel about Jane Austen the way I do, you will be thrilled to see this...

So get your husband out of the room and enjoy!

Our Deepest Sympathy

2008-01-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take this opportunity to send my thoughts and prayers to the nurses of the Royal Berkshire Hospital.

This is what socialized medicine looks like. Swan-kay!

Nathan's poor sister, Emma, has not one member of her family currently residing there, but two. Her husband, Ryan got a mysterious leg infection on Christmas Eve and has had to have surgery to remove it and the surrounding tissue. They have left the wound open to keep an eye on whether it comes back. I, who have a stomach of talc rather than iron, find the thought of this rather gruesome. Also, Ryan's daughter Gabbie (my beloved niece) had surgery today to remove an infected tooth. When we spoke to Ryan and Emma yesterday Emma sounded shattered. I send my sympathies, though, to the staff at the hospital because Emma and Ryan bored is not a good thing. I am picturing the scene from Jurassic Park with the kids in the kitchen cornered by the raptor. My advice - run like heck and don't forget the ladle!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

The Joneses are safely home in the warmth of Arizona, but man we had a great Christmas. The whole family was there, we got to play with Hank, and we ate ourselves sick. It was perfect. I have to say, happiness is nieces and nephews. They are so much fun and when they are not someone swiftly takes them from you and apologizes for their behavior. I love it! Henry is one seriously cute kid who is happy all the time. Even Nathan, who once told Hank that he would pay him attention when he brought something to the table, was hooked. I don't know why but we really have the funnest niece and nephews in the world and I will get into a gang fight "Beat It" style with anyone who says different. Oh, I'll cut ya'.

We went and saw the mighty Tri-Cities Americans trample the Everett Silvertips in the clash of titans that is the Western Junior Hockey League. I love watching hockey live. I think it is the perfect pairing of grace and agility matched with raw power. What I don't get is grown men stripping off their shirts and twirling them around to the dulcet tones of "Cotton-Eyed Joe". I guess you have to be Canadian or Eastern European to really understand.

We also went and saw a few movies. National Treasure, while fun, failed to live up to the first film. Also, what was Helen Mirren doing in it? She is aware that she has an Oscar now, right? She plays second fiddle to NO ONE! We also saw "P.S. I Love You". I love the song, I loved the movie. I will admit to tearing up a bit a few times. I think it's because I don't want to think of a world in which Gerard Butler doesn't exist. Tragedy.

I think one of the more comical moments of the week was when we were opening presents and I opened one from Nathan. It is the box set of every episode of "I Love Lucy". For those of you who don't know, I really do love Lucy.

I was thanking my husband profusely when I looked at my parents who disappointingly said, "I guess you have two". So now I have 68 discs of 1950's hilarity. That may be a little over the top.

We flew out of Las Vegas so we had to drive home. It was not nearly as unfun as it sounds seeing as how we drove in my new toy -

That's right folks. the Joneses are driving grown-up cars now! We decided to get something that didn't require more planning than the Apollo 13 mission to bring anything larger than a shoebox home. I love it. As it is an Explorer, I have decided to name it accordingly. Therefore I have christened it Lord Shackleton. That way Nathan can call it Shaq and we are both happy.

Anyways, I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and that this new year is one full of joy and happiness. Just don't talk trash about my niece and nephews. PEACE!

Love and Joy Come To You

2007-12-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

Bright and early tomorrow morning, Nathan and I are headed up to the great wet north to spend Christmas at my sister Megan's home. Needless to say, we are very excited to see my whole family gathered together to celebrate the birth of our Savior and the love that we have for each other. As I will be gone and unable to post, I want to tell you all that we wish you the merriest of Christmases and the happiest of New Years. We love you all so much, and as the song from one of my favorite movies EVER says,

"May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white."

Just call me Eric Liddell

2007-12-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

I finished week one of my "Couch Potato to 5k" program and started the second this morning. For those of you who aren't familiar with the program, you run for a certain amount of time and then walk for a certain amount of time, switching off for 20 minutes or so. Each week the ratios change a little bit until eventually you are running the whole time. So you start with running for 60 seconds and then briskly walking for 90. This morning I started running for 90 seconds, walking for 2 minutes. I thought it would be no big deal as the first week was pretty easy. Do you know what 30 extra seconds of running causes? More sweat, more prayers for death, and more satisfaction when you are done. I have to say that I am feeling pretty good about it though. I have had little soreness or pain. So like the song says, "Bring me my chariot of fire"... to pick me up and take me home in the eventuality that I pass out!

I thought that as Christmas is officially one week away I would like to share something that has always meant a lot to me and my family. In fact, my sister and I used to reenact this scene throughout the year to remind ourselves of what the true meaning of Christmas is. Enjoy.

Words of Wisdom

2007-12-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Stake Conference and it was wonderful. There were so many important messages given and the music was lovely. Our Stake President's talk, though, really touched me. He shared the story of when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego were thrown into a fiery furnace for refusing to worship the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king had set up. When threatened with this, their reply to the King was "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to a deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up. " He then talked about the trials that we have in our lives and how we have expectations that by living our lives a certain way we will be blessed with reprieve. But what happens if we are not? Do we decide that if we do not receive the blessings that God has forgotten us or does not exist at all? Or do we understand that we are loved and watched over especially in our darkest hours? Then he began to list trials that we all pass through and ask if we can answer in the same way as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

God will bless me with health and strength, but if not...
God will bless me with the means to care for my family, but if not...
God will bless me with a happy marriage and family, but if not...

Then he asked us to insert the trials that we are passing through.

God will bless me with ________________, but if not...

It was not difficult to come up with my own list to think about. There are certain desires that I have for my family and myself, but I must accept the fact that if those desires do not materialize it does not mean that my Heavenly Father does not know my heart or my worthiness. It only means that I have to trust more that He also knows what is best for me and the people I love.

What a great reminder.

Beware, the end is nigh!

2007-12-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am very confused. I thought that by not having children you were automatically exempt from some church assignments but apparently I was wrong. Maybe it is just the commanding presence that I carry or my keen ability to survive in any situation (haven't died yet!) that made me the perfect candidate to become the Wolf pack leader in my ward. Or maybe it's my inability to say no. I haven't decided yet. So I guess I know what one of my gifts under the tree will be this year - a lovely khaki shirt with a jaunty kerchief. I am thinking of going General Custer on my uniform and adding sequins and fringe just to keep things FIERCE! Heaven help those boys...

On a happier note, last night I started the Couch Potato to 5k program and today I feel great! I have been inspired by my sister and her amazing accomplishment and as my tag for next year is "Feeling Great in 2008" I thought I should get my rear in gear. I think I did pretty well and I am looking forward to going again tomorrow. I found this great podcast that actually tells you when to speed up and slow down so you don't have to check your watch and it's all to a driving techno beat. It's very 1996. It was incredibly helpful, to say the least. If any of you are interested in the program, just go here.

The other part of my "Feeling Great" program is to re-read my scriptures in Spanish. Wow, it has been awhile. I am feeling pretty gringa. At the same time though, it is wonderful to go back to the language of my mission. It makes me happy every night before I go to sleep. But to ensure that I don't get too spiritual (yeah, like that's ever going to happen) I am reading East of Eden right now. I have decided that if I could write like anyone it would be Steinbeck. If you have not read this book and love a good soap opera, give it a go. You will not be disappointed.

Ready or not...

2007-12-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

So Megan tagged me to share seven interesting things about me. Normally I shun these things, but as I am a little afraid of her I'd better do it.

I can't go to sleep if any doors, drawers, or cupboards are open in the bedroom. It's really weird, I know, but it freaks me out.
I consider Bread and Butter pickles the fifth food group. However, Nathan does not and therefore I must time my pickles wisely if I want any lovin'.
In February I will be finishing my MBA. From that day forward, I will sign my name Master Bad A__ Bethany Jones.
I have been to 17 countries including 5 that I have lived in. One of them is Liechtenstein. None of them are Canada. Seriously.
I once saw Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch open for New Kids on the Block. You know you are jealous.
I have worked for the Tate Gallery in London and Howard and Phil's Western Wear at Tyler Mall in Riverside, California. Guess which one I liked more.
I love Chronicles of Riddick. Read what you will into that.

I know you are all fascinated by this journey into the mind of Bethany Jones. Congratulations on surviving the experience. I now tag Nathan, Jen L., Megan J., and Karlie. You're it!

Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away...

2007-12-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been awhile since I posted! We have just been so busy with moving that blogging has just kind of taken a back seat. On the subject of moving, you should really try it in the middle of Arizona's worst storm of the year. Carrying mattresses in the middle of a thunderstorm should become a new Olympic sport because we would CLEAN UP!!! Jesse Owens, step off! Fortunately, rain is a wonderful thing here so we were actually pretty excited. In fact we have been excited a lot lately. Sometimes it seems that there is so much to be grateful for in your life that you just don't know where to start. I have received so much good news lately that I just have to say a big CONGRATULATIONS to:

1. My little brother Simon, who this week received his mission call to serve in the great Kentucky Louisville mission. We are SO proud of you and your choice to give of yourself for the next two years.

2. My lovely sister-in-law and her new fiancee J.J.. (That seems like a lot of periods!) What a wonderful time in your life. We are incredibly excited for you and this amazing step. Enjoy it to the fullest!

3. Our wonderful friends, Jen and Emery, who are going to be welcoming a new little Layton to the world next summer. You are the best!

4. My crazy brother-in-law who is not only surviving but thriving in his first Canadian winter. We love you, Elder Jones!

As Martha Stewart says, having so many things to be happy about is a good thing!

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Chuck Norris?

2007-11-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I gave up my party affiliation out of disgust for the way that Democrats and Republicans act towards each other and the people they are meant to serve. I think I may have just regained some hope for the American political process...

"When in the course of human events..."
"Four score and seven years ago..."
"Old soldiers never die..."
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall..."
"CHUCK NORRIS APPROVED..."

Yes, it certainly does have a certain je ne sais quoi about it.

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

2007-11-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

I can't help but notice the irony in starting a blog that is intended to be full of good news and then filling it up with sad. Today has easily been one of the worst days of my life. This morning I had to rush to the vet where I found out that my sweet friend Cujo had suffered a heart attack and was not expected to make it. He was in a horrible state and I had to be the one to help him through his last minutes. If there is anything to be grateful from this situation, I am glad that he didn't go alone. I am so thankful that I could be with him and tell him that I love him while he went to sleep. The staff was very kind and let me take him into a private room where I could hold him for about an hour. I know it sounds oversentimental, but Cujo has been around for half of my life and he has been my buddy since the moment I saw him. I have spent the rest of the day in bed crying. I know there are some of you who have been through this, so any advice you might have would be appreciated. In the meantime, thank you Cujo for being the friend to me that you have been for the past 15 years, for your warm cuddles, for your non-judgemental ways. for you friendliness to everyone, and for the way you have made our family laugh over the years. We will miss you so much, shortstack.

To my friend

2007-11-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there are simply no words. Sometimes you know that anything you might say would sound as weightless as air. Sometimes you feel so unable to do or be anything that would make a difference, though you would do whatever you could if you only knew how. Sometimes you wish that your friend could climb inside your heart to feel how much you love her and how her pain is yours - not because you can comprehend the depth of her sorrow yourself, but simply because she must feel it and you can not relieve it. Sometimes all you can say is I am here. I love you. I have all the time in the world for you. I will be who you need me to be right now.

"Thy friends do stand by thee..."

What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on?

2007-11-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

What does the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, the Titanic, and Bethany Jones have in common? When they crash, it is spectacular.

Last night, after watching our beloved Phoenix Suns trash the Bobcats, I felt inspired to tag along to Nathan and Simon's regular one-on-one basketball game. They have asked me to go a few times in the past, but as the last time I played was a Young Women's match in 1992 I had always passed it up. It was a lovely night, though, and I felt like getting some exercise so I decided to go.

BIG MISTAKE!

We got to the court and I tried about five shots. After only getting one in, I jokingly said to Nathan, "Oh I know the problem! I forgot to do my warm-ups...". I put the ball down and started doing some Michael Scott inspired warm-ups as a joke. This involved me jogging in place while bringing up my knees and slapping them. I did this about three times, completely forgetting the ball right in front of me. It was on the fourth step that I put my foot down right on the ball which (go figure!) rolled out from under me causing me to slip and fall on my butt with a mighty thump. In the process, I felt all the muscles in my left foot scream "We don't go that way!" If I hadn't been laughing so hard I probably would have cried from the pain, but it was so ridiculous that I had to! I bet I am the only person to ever have to be carried off a basketball court after 20 seconds of warm-ups. My foot is still in a lot of pain but I can hobble around on it alright. It just kills me, though, to see my NBA career snuffed out so early!

Old dog... new trick?

2007-11-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have the world's oldest dog. He is a little over 15 years old in dog years, 73 in human years. He smells like a cess pool, has two viable teeth in his head, and I routinely hold a mirror under his nose to see if he is still breathing. And I adore him. This morning I thought I was going to have a battle on my hands. He had an appointment with the groomer and I was going to have to take him by myself. Why would that be a battle, you ask. Well, taking Cujo (it's not just a name, it's an attitude) anywhere in the car starts like this. He sees the leash and the quasi-spastic fit begins. He loses all control of his backside as he grabs the leash with his two teeth and drags me to the door. Once in the car, the real fun begins. There is whining, pouting, leaping from seat to seat. On the turns, Cujo flies across the car and almost breaks his foot by stepping in a cupholder and then tries to stand on my lap while tripping over the gear shift. Truly an adventure. And yes, we have tried the crate. It literally ended in the use of tranquilizers. He will not be contained!

Today, though, Cujo was a champion. I don't know if he was feeling particularly good, if he sensed where he was going, or if he is old and has given up fighting the inevitable. Regardless, he was a dream and the results are obvious...

I especially love his jaunty kerchief. It seems to say "Hello world! I am love!"

When last we left the Joneses...

2007-11-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

Well folks, we are back up and running. As I said in our other blog, I can't promise the zaniness of our blog on life in India but I think I can dig up enough interesting things to keep it exciting. So keep checking in here and as they say in television...

Tune in next week for another exciting episode!